For those who are looking for a way to even out scores with God... ;-)

"Suicide is fantastic way of telling God, You can't fire me I quit !!!!!"

Life sux big time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much has been happening around me lately, that I so badly wish I could run away from all this... if I could jus vanish from the face of earth without leaving nememories bitter or sweet...why cant life be as simple an easy as in fairy tales... :o(
If only I could have had a choice...or atleast I could have got a fool proof plan to deal with this bastard....grrrrrrrrrr
Dear God u not listening to me lately... huh!!!

Ye saal bhi guzra hai, tere pyaar ke manind...
Aate hue kuch aur tha, jaate hue kuch aur hai!!!

Words of wisdom..or are they???

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
something is terribly wrong with the alignment here.....but whateva...I am publishing it anyways ;o)

Ummmmmmm...
Well have always been in a habbit of losing drafts, mails, p/w, I.ds....etc..
lost one of the most cherished draft recently, hence was adviced to keep it some where that I would always be sure of not losing orrrrrrrrr next best option blog them... :P
Thanx buddy....
So here goes my treasured loved ones...... ;o)

I don't have religion.I believe in a God.I don't know what it looks like but it's MY God.My own interpretation of supernatural.

I must be wishing on someone else's star, cause it seems that someone else is always getting what I wished for....

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

When you are in love and you get hurt, it's like a cut... it will heal, but there will always be a scar.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

I don't miss him, I miss who I thought he was.

The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up.

I was born the day I met you, lived a while when you loved me, died a little when we broke apart

You don't realize how much you care about someone until they don't care about you.

Whenever I cried he would always make me feel like he would change the world if he could, so it couldn't hurt me anymore. But now I'm crying and he's not even here...

You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel.

When you said forever, you meant a few months. When I said forever, I meant every day until died. When you said always, you meant until you couldn't handle it anymore. When I said always, I meant until time ended. When you said you loved me, you meant I was no different from any other girl. When I said I loved you, I meant I had never felt what I felt for you.

I miss you a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too often, and a little more each day...

I never was one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new.

What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived...

I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can't because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most. ..

When It's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you.

Ever, has it been that, love knows not its own depth until the hour of
separation.

It hurts to see you walk away. For admit it or not, you were an important part of my life and the time we shared will forever be a part of me. So even though I realize that it was never meant to be, still, it hurts.

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.

When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.

Love is like the truth, sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts.

Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love; it is the faithless who know love's tragedies.

If you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.

There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations

Of all pains, the greatest pain, Is to love, and to love in vain.

Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment love begins, but we always recognize the moment it ends?

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.

For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'

Grief is only the memory of widowed affections.

The greatest form of pain is in still loving someone who used to love you...

I realized that whatever I do, I will always remain an amiable and dynamic person for some, whereas a reprobate for others and yeah, some will never be concerned about me... People will judge me as per their notions and remain content with it..


You have been the treasure in my hand. You have been the one who always stood beside me. So unaware, I foolishly believed that you would always be there. But then there came a day, when I turned my head and you slip away...

I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I'd see you again.

It hurts the most when you can actually feel your heart breaking...

Even if my heart should call out your name in the rain. Even if these arms should want to embrace you again. And even if I'm all cried out and no longer in pain... I'll never fall in love that way again.

I could fill a thousand pages telling you how I felt and still you would not understand. So now I leave without a sound, except that of my heart shattering as it hits the ground.

Should I smile because you're my friend, or cry because that's all we will ever be?.... aahaa..well this is one of my favourite.

It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy with someone else, but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship
and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual
affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it
will not be created for years or even generations.

Say I love you and mean it,

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived,are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.

Sometimes it's hard to love someone because you're so afraid of losing them..

You know its love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you're not part of their happiness

I have loved to the point of madness, That which is called madness, That which to me, Is the only sensible way to love

My mind tells me to give up, but my heart won't let me.

It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun......

When you are in love and you get hurt, it's like a cut... it will heal, but there will always be a scar.

A broken heart continies to beat...

The worst way to miss some one is sitting besides him knowing u may never have him...

One of the hardest things is having words in your heart you can't say out loud

If even a day should go by when I don't say I love you, may never a moment go by without you knowing that I do.

I have said nothing because there is nothing i can say that would describe how i feel as perfectly as you deserved it.

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

If you are not big enough to lose, you are not big enough to win...

The secret of happiness is to make others believe that they are the cause of it.

Loving might be a mistake, but it's worth taking.

Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than a dream.

Nothing is more painful then realizing he ment everything to you and you ment nothing to him.

You run FASTEST and FARTHEST when U run from YOURSELF.

Words hurt but silence kills

To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best.

You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"

Someone once asked me "why do you always insist on taking the hard road?" and I replied "why do you assume I see two roads"?

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

I always like to walk in the rain as no one can see me crying.

Everyone Has A Weakness...You Just Happen To Be Mine

Sometimes your mind doesn't want you to be inlove...but deep down, you know you are.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.

Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a REAL man to face cancer.

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

Don't take life too seriously: You're not getting out alive, anyway.

I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Life is a joke that's just begun.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's lost

Before giving someone a piece of mind be sure you have enough to spare!!!

Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.

Don't drink to drown your sorrows. They knows how to swim.

I'd rather be a failure at something i love, than a success at something i hate.

There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.

There are no sweeter words than "I told you so

I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.

Love is to let those we love be themselves,and not to twist them to fit our own image.Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first,the lesson afterwords.

I am realistic.I expect miracles!!!

Here is a test to find whether your mission on life is finished.If you are alive,it isn't.

There is no shortcut to anywhere worth goin

DREAMS come true.Without that possibility,nature would not incite us to have them.

LIFE is not the way its suppose to be.Its the way it is.The way you cope with it,is what makes the difference.

Man is neither angel nor beast, and the unfortunate thing is that he who would play the angel plays the beast.......Luv this oneeeee

I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage...

My mom told me not to talk to strangers..I dont talk to myself nemore!!

Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research...........as you can see a
lot of research has gone into making this post... :P

My poor aching soul!!!

My poor aching soul.
It hides far from the surface.
Curled up and wounded,
Behind an endless reminder.
A waterfall of my painful tears...

Now, for every drop that falls,
It fails me even more...
The sorrow, and loneliness,
The heartbreaks, and pain,
Manipulation pours down grief...
Lost memories,
Lost trust,
Lost hope,
Lost life.

Promises that aren't kept,
The one who just didn't trust,
False accusations,
Truth so scarce,
Low self esteem,
Too many letdowns,
Cannot look up...
Down I'll stay,
Glued with fear...

So here I am in my little cave.
With my poor aching forsaken soul...

X99999999999999999

Time has a peculiar way of reminding you of bygone days...
Sometimes a simplest of the conversion can trigger a chain reaction, that take you back to the bylanes of sweet memories you always cherished.
How much we used to indulge ourselves into pressing the "w" key on our phone keypad to get that right intensity to express our anger, luv, frustration, anguish, stupidity, apologies and god knows wot not... :P
Those extra efforts taken to count all those 9s and managing a nod to affirm that the msg was indeed well conveyed... :)
Acting as intellectuals who can actually make out what all those X9s ment...
How much I yearned for that number to msg me all those 9s...which so rightfully used to be mine...
And today seeing them once again appear somewhere...just cant stop smiling from ear to ear :P......
Time to put that delete folder ingredents back to where they belong...khee khee khee...
{ I can already see n@d$ turning black and blue over it ;-) hehehehe }
Wonder days of mylife......wonder where have they vanished in thin air... :-|
There wasn't suppose to be an end to us...but cant...couldn't fight the all mighty fate...
But what ever I am sooooooooooo happy that I dint delete thm..........
yiiiiiippppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
hiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

ahaaa an there goes another wish down the drain......

I am alive!

I feel nothing.

As I sit here,

Watching the world,

Drift by slowly,

I breathe the air..

But is that enough.

To say that, I

As a person am alive.

The day run by,

Without a glance.

Am I invisible?

Or am I a ghost?

My heart is beating...

But is that enough,

To know that I,

As a person, exist.

I have markings,

In my skin, scars.

I stare and wonder...

Did they bleed?

I have little memory,

But that isn't enough.

To prove that I,

As a person lived.

I walk along,

People slip by...

In a hurry against time.

I have no concern for time.

I don't feel cold or warmth.

But that doesn't show...

That I, as a person

Do not feel.

This stone I see...

Has my name in gold.

People I hear cry for me,

It can't be mine I am alive.

Though my life is fake,

Still, I am here, not dead.

I refuse to admit I died.

I will not move on I am alive!!!

Tears In Heaven!!!

Some people do have gift of gab for words...

Tears In Heaven

by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven....

Ehesas ye hua ke....doorr wo nikal gaye hain!!!

Is raat ki tanhaiyun ke,
Sab rang badal gaye hain.
Mahetab wahi hai lekin,
Roshan ye taare badal gaye hain.
Jis ke bharose thi nam shaam,
Wo baadal jaane kis simth nikal gaye hain.
Manzil tu ab bhi wahi hai,
Kuch raste bhatak gaye hain.
Raheguzar ki taraf uth te,
Kuch kadam thitak gaye hain.
Dekhe the khuli ankhon se,
Kuch shab jaagte hue,
Ehesas ye hua ke,
Khawab wo toot gaye hain .
Bane the jo kabhi humsafar,
Aaj wo doorr kahin nikal gaye hain.
Ek khalish si rahe gayi ke,
Jaane kyun unke khayalat badal gaye hain..

Another one of my favs...

Flesh Wound

by Foreigner

It's four o' clock in the mornin' and the daylight's creepin' in
I'm lyin' awake in bed
Outside my window the rain's just pourin' down
And there's a pain inside my head

I looked hard into the mirror, took some water in my hands
And threw it on my face
But your memory won't fade away, I can see you everywhere
Around this empty space

This night's too long, I'm fadin' fast
I tell myself, this pain won't last

It's just a flesh wound
Missin' my heart but it still cuts deep
Nothin' but a flesh wound
It tore me apart and I still can't sleep
You know you really did it well
Now I'm lyin' on a bed of nails
But it's nothin' but a flesh wound

Better pull myself together, gotta hold my head up high
that's what I;ve got to do
No damage done, but deep inside my heart
Who am I tryin' to fool

It's over now, all in the past
I tell myself, this pain won't last

It's just a flesh wound
Missin, my heart, but it still cuts deep
Nothin' but a flesh wound
It tore me apart and I still can't sleep
I've got no choice, I must be strong
Can't lie here thinkin' about it all night long
It's nothin' but a flesh wound....

Ending the day in the dumbest possible way...... :o(
With the concequences of a joke that went real sour... bhooooooooo bhaaaaaaaa and all that!!!
And Dear Godddddddd had you taken the time outta your busy schedule, you would have had read my previous post and made amends...
Now I can't even grrrrrrrrrr on you.... :o(
Till yesterday I thought I had nothing to contribute to n@d$ confessions...thank you dear God...now I am sure I am gonna beat him way toooooooo.... :o(

After the last post thought will not be returning here with any self written posts anymore.
Well but here I am again....seems some habbits die hard :p
Actually have been contamplating lately of killing this blog and starting a new one for some time now.... but then been advised better not to do that.... ya willn't be doing that, still mourning deleting the last one...Goddddddddd you better put some tabs to my being distructive :p
But thats the way you made me, now do bear me, and help others follow the suite... :p

Back to the Shell!!!

Had promised a dear friend that will surely give life another chance. (now that certainly doesn't mean I was a pessimist :P)
But ofcourse I preffer to be more by myself...na I am not a lonner either but thats the only way I find some peace. I can't just go out and make friends just like that though highly admire people who are capable of doing that.... but naah, thats not my cuppa tea.
Lately it seems that just to honour this one promise I am fast becomming or tyring to become some one neither I am, nor I can relate too....
I thought I might like being this new me.....but guess I was better off the way I was...
So back to square one....back to my shell again...

Some of my all time fav lyrics....

I guess this would be one thing that I am gonna keep on updating for a change.... :p
These lyrics touch some cords some where for sure...

DIDO

"White Flag"

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be......

If only I knew!!!

You just never know when someone will walk into you life and rock everything to the very essence of your being. You never see it coming.
Have you ever had this feeling...*"The feeling that at that exact moment in time you were at the exact place you were supposed to be. That everything in the universe was perfectly aligned? "* That ‘perfect’ moment for me was standing there with him looking deep in to his eyes....
As I took a walk on to the road to the memories.... I look up into the sky, seeing the ever shinning moon, I recalled all the conversations I had with God over the years. I could only look at his beautiful sky and say 'Thank You.'
If only I knew its going to be short lived, I would have thanked him hard enuff, so that when he intented to end it for good he would have thought enuff....thought enuff for us. But guess thats the way god works....you never know what he has planned for you.
I had all but given up on finding that 'soulmate' that everyone talks about and dreams for. In fact I really didn’t think I was looking.Actually I have been always convinced that there is nothing as 'soulmates'.I only know this, I knew from the first moment I was right.
Although I am a hopeless romantic in all the possible negetive ways, I have never truly believed in love at first sight. Until I knew him,...
I don't know where to start. I don't know how to start, or even continue.
He opened up parts of me inside my heart that had been shutdown since like forever and I believe that there are many rooms that had never been entered before he walked past these all, leaving a mark on these forever....
We never know what God’s plan is for each of us, we can only keep moving on and while I keep on making a silent prayer for all those years that lies ahead....life goes on...



**"It is not the end of the road, its merely another path to take. So we'll still meet up and be friends!"**


* Some one must have surely said this...the question remains who.

**Well atleast thats what I have been told quite a few times now....ofcourse I doubt it.. :p

And I can see how repetative I have become....seems just lossing the grip and the will to.... was desparately thinking of adding a to be continued caption here, but I am sure I am not even going to reread it let alone add on a word or something to it... :p
It feels great to be a lazy evry once in a while....

Smile a smile for me....

When you look at the night sky,
chances are that I'll be sitting here
thinking of you... as I so often do.

I'll probably be smiling
one of the smiles that I always do
when thoughts of you come my way.

When you see the shiney moon ,
I hope you'll think, just for a moment,
how much you mean to me
and how much you always will.

And when you continue on with the things
you need to be doing in your day,
smile a smile for me, and remember
that I'll be thinking of you still.

Cant take it nomore....

My heart can't take it nomore...
Thats a place only you can fill.
My dreams they feel so lonely...
Because I love you still.

Each day alone is a nitemare.
Memories at every turn...
They're etched forever in my heart
And the fire will always burn.

You wont return the love I gave,
How I wish I knew this then...
I could have saved much heartache,
Instead of getting hurt again.

Someday I hope you feel one-tenth,
Of the agony I feel each day...

@~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~@~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~@

I MET AN ANGEL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(okz wel not today yesterday as its past midnite already :D)

Just Holding on!!!

Holding to the sunlight of time
We often imagine our life as one that is never ending,
Striving each day we grasp a little bit of time...
And to what does it avail us but to seek again...
The elusive rays as they pass us day by day.
Our lives fold into one another...
As the waves of the sea. as they strike the shores of memories.
Our love is enriched and the days of our solitude,disappears into the beautiful sunset of our timeless love....
Which shines over the wonderful time we share...
Day by day into years everlasting...
As we seek the beauty of this dream,
To strengthen the cord of our love...
I am just holding on....

Gone in 60 seconds...

Went for a hair trim yesterday.....since all my sisters and few friends planned it as a hair fix-up day, so I thot why not me too get that much awaited little trimming done.
Used to have realy long hair few years ago..until a disaster struck and I had to start right from the square one to make them reach the desired lenght ;p
Which I almost did until yesterday....as far as I remember I precisely asked for under half inch trim...
But as soon as I saw the first bunch hit the floor I went dead to bones...after a lot of effort to regain my poise, I turned arround and asked what did u just do???
And bang came the innocent reply "didnt u said you wanted a steps cut with laser?"
The giggle that followed drowned my own shriek...
Had a deep look in the mirror trying to visualise what I looked some 60 seconds ago...Phew!!!

Dark clouds.......... gloomy day!!!

If some one would had told me few years ago that one day, I am gonna hate Diwali......well i would have bangged his/her head against the nearest wall ;p
I always used to like this festival for its spirit....all those lighting on the house an shops used to amaze me evry other house used to look like a beautifully crafted lamp shade with light adding that mystic touch to it, all those extra extended sweets shops using sply made pandals to house the over flowing customer used to delight me, and i used to gaze at all those cracker shops systematically arranged along the road u really have to visit lajpat nagar to believe how much beauty they add to the otherwise dull main road there.....and even though all the envouirmentalists cry murder for evry cracker burned, I used to indulge myself in busting the biggest an the loudest ones....come on after all its just once a year event....an people putting thier foot down for pollution it causes should to be tied up to one of Delhi's redlight post in the evening for few mints and they wil know what exactly is the reason for the round the year pollution.Fail to understand how could they over look the people involved in cottage industries to produce these crackers an wait whole year long to earn these few bucks that help them servive the whole year.
I always wait weeks an months in advance for the day.....days on diwali usually used to be bright as far as i can remember....but today when I woke up(okz well I dint actually woke up since I wasnt actually sleeping lol ;p...but well, when I stepped outta my room) i could feel the day aint gonna be much fun not anymore. It was a cloudy day and spoting the sun in the sky was more like playing hide an seek with it ;p.......so all i could see up above were few clouds...few dark clouds hovering around it an not letting it shine to its best being....just like pleasent thots those thuh r soothing but keeps u occupied an closed to others....so no matter how hard i tried not a single glimps of it...seems it was lost in its very own world.All this adding that much desired or not so desired spl effects to an already gloomy day... ;p
Ofcourse non of these have anything to do with my hating the occasion now....its just that the day brings alive the fondest of the memories....memories those just wont fade.....memories those dint last long enuff when they used to be reality....memories those can only be cherished now...as thats whats remained of them....
But wateva......newayz.....its stil Diwali...
HAPPY DIWALI!!!!

With "U" "I" Belong!!!

In the park, it`s peaceful here,
But still I wish you were near....
So many memories flood my mind,
When we were in love and the days were kind.

Those happy memories will always be,
All that’s left as far I can see...
Now the tears have started to fall...
And I feel so lost and alone by it all.

So as I make my way back home,
It’s the longest journey I`ve never known.
All I keep asking is what went wrong
For I know in my heart,
Its with you I belong.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all
All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

-----Ronan Keating(notting Hill)

Woh tumhara ghum tha...

Diyaar-e-ghair mein kaise tum ko sada dete
Tum mil bhi jaate tu tum ko ganwaa dete.

Tum hi ne hum ko sunaya na apna dil ka haal warna..
Dua woh karte ke hum patthar bhi pighila dete

Humein yeh aas rahi ab ke woh pukarein gein..
Unhein yeh zid thi ke herr baar hum sada dete

Woh tumhara gum tha ya taseer humare lehje ki
Ki jis ko sunate haal-e-dil us ko rula dete

Tumhein bhulana hi ab tu bas mein nahin
Jo ikhtyiaar bhi hota tu kaya bhula dete???

Tumhari yaad ne koi jawaab hi nahi dia
Humare khayaal ke aansoo rahegaye sada dete...

Sannatoun ko hum taa-umer koste rahe...
Woh kuch na kahete per lab tu hila dete.

Tu ek parwaaz Parind!!

Ek khuwaab kyun banke rahe gaya hai koi...
Ek do nufs namood sahi, zindagi tu hai wo.
Jalti hai kitni deir hawaon mein humare saath...
Ek shama phir us ke naam se roshan ki tu hai
Jis mein ye raat bhi dhal kar isse mehtaab ker gai
Ab tu lahoo mein bhi aisi ek roshani tu hai
Parchaiyon mein dobta dekhte rahe gaye...
Aur phir bhi baccha na payein jane kyun..
Kyun yeh bechargi ab saath hi mein hai...
Tu teiz parwaaz parind, aur pershaan hawa hain hum..
Dono mein ek rishta awaargi tu hai..
Ek ye hi khuwaab umarr guzarne ka saathi,
Tu khamosh hai phir bhi.... ek guftagu tu hai...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#*#*#*#*#*#**#*#*#*#*#**#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

When you haved loved someone from deepest part of your soul. Writing about it, is baring a part of that soul... The first question that always comes to mind is, what could I have done to make the outcome different?
Of course, you can never know the answer to that question because you can't go back and do it over. No matter how much you long to do so. But, when you have loved someone with all of your soul...you have been blessed with that experience. An experience that you'll never forget.
An experience you cant relive...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True love has no end...coz it never ends!!!

Just yesterday I recieved a mail from an old dear friend, pouring his heart out after a failed affair, the hurt he is going through and how much next to impossible it would now be for him to put his trust in this socalled love thing.
And is thankful that it got over for good.
Not that I dint understood what he said or what he dint say, but wanted to say.
He dint spoke a single word that I havent heard between a conflict, my head an heart always have.
But it was the question he asked me that really unnerved me...
"Why our so called perfect love never always have a perfect happy ending?"

After pondering over it for an hour or so I tried my best to console him, tried my best to write him a mail that would in some way be able to sooth his pain. But deep down I myself knew what I wrote to him is not even good enuff to convince me, how could I expect it to be of help to him.
I have been hearing so many times...
our love dint ended the way it should have.
He/She is not the kind of person i expected him/her to be...
We have lost the trust we had...
We are no longger on the same wave lenght...

The only conclusions I get to were that...

"True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"…

Love is such a wonderful gift, and never to be taken for granted. Few people are lucky enough to get the person they love.
We all, by nature, is flawed! It's pointless looking for the perfect person; because such a person doesn't exist on this planet at least! No two people are alike and every single one is imperfect. Everyone has his or her faults and peculiarities. Knowing this then, the only way to make love survive and grow and to enjoy it fully is to accept these faults, while remembering at the same time that we ourselves are nowhere near perfect and are probably as 'defective' as the other person!

Perfect smooth sailing is impossible. And if it's happening, it spells big trouble because it points to the fact that one or both partners are making a hell of a compromise to avoid conflict!

"If a person exits one relationship in the hope of entering into a problem-free one next time, then that's very wishful thinking!"

And never ever love some one in the hope of a fairy tale perfect endding. That dont happen, not anymore, not always.
Yes perfect Love has no ending....cause love is endless.
It simply dont end....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wo jo dorr nagar ko jate hain!!

Wo jo dorr nagar ko jate hain,
Phir kab wo laut kar aate hain.
Bilkul tanha kar detein hain,
Saari khushiyan le jatein hain.
Kahan rakhte phir koi khair khabar,
Aise kyun rooth ke jaate hain?
Kabhi yaadon mein,kabhi sapnoo mein...
Aansu ban ke bas jate hain.
Milnay ki bhi koi aas nahi,
Jane kis des ko jate hain?
Wo jo dorr nagar ko jate hain...!!!

*******Ek din*******

Ek din us ki ankhoun mein aks humra ho ga
Ek din ayega,wo shaks humara ho ga......

Tu jis reit pe naam humara likhega,
Wo kisi aur hi darya ka kinara ho ga...

Zindagi! ab ke humara naam na shamil karna,
Garr ye tah hai ke yehi khel dobara ho ga...

Jis ke hone se sanse chala karti thi,
Kis tarha us ke bagair humara guzara ho ga...

Ye achanak jo ujala sa ho jata hai,
Dil ne chupke se naam unka phukara ho ga...

Kaun rota hai yahan raat ke sanatein mein,
Humare jaisa hi koi hijar ka mara ho ga....

Hum ko maloom hai johin hum qadam rakhein ge
Zindagi tera phir koi aur kinara ho ga........

Jo humari rooh main badal se garajte hain kabhi
Us ne bhi seene mein dard koi utara hoga.....

Kaam muskil hai per anjaam deinge ek din,
Johin zindaigi mein phir sukh ka aasara ho ga..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Circle of friends!!!

Some one today asked me how do u manage so many freinds, I have arround 45 an they are just too much for me....u have more then 360 freinds in your freinds list
Thats an impossible number to keep track of your freinds
And I just smiled giving her my favourite reply........I m lucky to know kind people who are gud freinds...
Though this was not the first time i heard that....and I know it wont be the last time either....
But this time I surely was taken aback by the question as it was asked by some one I least expected...
Yes I M definately the most unfreindliest an cold person....though that doesnt mean I dnt get along very wel with others....but there is this distance I maintain with almost evryone.
So the most one could get outta me is some warm greetings and an even warmer bye ;p
And that would be one of the reasons i was pushed into orkutting ;p
Thus I started thinking that even though i could boost of 100s of frnds in my freinds list but ya sure they are not the one i can bank upon...
Neither are they whom i can call in the middle of the nite just to get reassured...
Nor would they be concerned about all the wrong decisions I make....but yes they would alwayz be there as a gud decoration on the list to boost of a heavey load of freinds I just happen to have...
But that dosent mean I dont have some real friends
I do have few...an now when asked about to name them i just cant evn think of whom to name an whom to leave coz even thuh I luv to be selfish but I just cant be partial to my friends...
So i took a stupid test courtesy a brain dead freind...
Which was list al the freinds on a sheet of paper an randomly start deleting them untill i come across names of friends I really dont want to lose.....
finally i come across these friends whom i guess i would luv to keep for life
And yes i m hating doing this if this wasnt for the tantrum of a devilish friend i guess i wouldnt be writing this......lesson learnt its gud to keep ur blog id saef from devils....bad case for me as she happens to be doing a peek a boo in my mail accounts

1) Adu The Controversial---
Now i m not getting into the nittygritty of it ;p
but ya if it wasnt for her i would have never known,how does it feel to be happy twisting othrs ears an managing a smile ;p
And ofcourse wudnt be writing this 4k post aswell ;p

2)The guy from the lonely road---
We dint met under a very faourable circumstances.I hated him for delibrately pin pointing me for ingnoring him on a thread....and just a few mints from then it was like as if we were two lost freinds from a kumbh ka mela ;p
He has an amazing sense of conectivity, and I m just so touched by his attitude towards life even while in the midst of so much... he still manages a true warm smile.
Alwayz inspiring to be an optimist.
Alwayz there to help....an has been busy lately with some real donkey work for me ;p
Had been the reason for myblogs interesting an beautiful kayapalat ;p
Just few days ago I wasnt able to connect to the blog page an was upset for not being able to publish a post....an even before i could ask him for a favour......BOOM!!! the post was already published...



3)An Angel From N.L
He is such a charming fellow that after having a chat with him chances are u will be stung by the magic of his words.
Though he tried to be a devil in past but guess seeing his angelic bend, the devils disowned him :D
The kind of closeness an friendliness he shows towards all is hard to find.
He has this really amazing sense of humur with lots of wits to acompany it...
And an ability to not to get offened......thts so hard to find
The only person whoz ""hate ya"" I look forward to dearly
hehe
Thuh I hate him for not getting a net connection at his new home...
And ofcourse how cud I fail to mention he hates to have Brad Pitt as his neighbour ;p
Looking forward to a grand treat for his marriage.......yummyyyyyyyyyyyy

4)Brother Lee
The only person who sincerly offered to be a bro....an being more then one.
The kind of faith he has in me an the amount of trust he puts in evry one he knows catches evry one by surprise....
But one hell of a tuffy, if u dare not listen to his advice.
The care he showz makes me think..... he must have been my father in some last births ;p

Once my dad told me that he read some where that by the time u die ...
"if you have, had three real friends you have had a good life"
I already have four an I m not even dead yet..... ;p
Guess I M having a great rocking life!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I will remember him..

As I sit here thinking of all the things I have been through....

Of all the time we have shared together...

Of the love we thought was made in heaven..

I remember him....

I remember him as my friend, my best friend, my only true friend.

He is a very different guy. I cant ask for something better than him. He used to bring out what has to be the best in me. Who used to make me feel so special, so special that I always felt at home when I was with him. Yes he is one in a million.

Infact i was a no one before i met him, was just another ordinary girl with an ordinary present...an it was for the first time in my life that i felt i m not that worthless after all...

I dont know y it all happened and also the reason for it...He brought out what it has to be me. A girl. ..

He has alwayz been a reason for evrything that I do. For every breath that I take, for every tear that I cried for, it’s always him. He is the one I have longed for all of my life.The reason why I feel lost right now. I have always thought that he is the one I have been dreaming of, the man who can change my life into something better, better than anyone can do for me. Who always brought out my world into something great.

I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me. Do the past have something to do with what he can feel towards me right now? I don’t know why he have to do this to me.

He rejected me

I don’t know what would happen next after all of this. Maybe I would just go back of what I am used to be. Maybe I’ll just spend some time to cry and to accept all the things that had happen. Maybe I have to realize that things aren’t the same as I expect it to be. Maybe I should go on with my life without him beside me. Maybe he just can’t love me anymore.maybe I should have a distance from him so that I can forget all these things.

may be......

But may be i no i cant do ne of these

I really love him even though he rejectrd me.

I’ll remember him till my last breath.....

For all the time we spend together

For all the dreams we shared...

For all the laughs we had together...

For all those moments...

I will remember him...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the heavens I will wait...

In the final seconds
Before I die
I hope I see you
Eye to eye
No words to speak
No remembrance shared
Just knowing your with me
Would show me you cared.

Then final breath
To heaven I`d soar
Past all indifference
To that far off shore
To put on my wings
To learn a new trade
To be your angel
Til you come my way
Then together we`d fly
Off to the clouds
Which abound heaven.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It Pains........

It pains to think we may never meet again
Simple really, isn`t it, a word or two and then??
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when,
You think of us or speak of me or wonder what befell,
The someone you once loved not so long ago so well...

Never wonder what I`ll feel as life shuffles by,
You don`t have to ask me and I need not reply.
Every moment of my life from now until I die,
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand.
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand...

Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no place to hide.
You are all I`ll ever want, but this I am denied...
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts,
I wish I`d never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned...

Plz God Keep An Eye On My Dad!!!

Give him Spring..
Send him your breath...
Quiet his heart,
Bring him some peace.
Settle his hurt,
Labored in fever,
Battling with pain,
Heaving for life,
Deep from his soul.
Show him belief,
Calling on angels...
Praying to God...
Give him the strength,
To see daylight.
I’m begging you now.
Don’t take him like this..
For the sake of his spirit,
lend him your peace,
Send him your breath,
Quiet his hurt,
Smooth back his hair,
let him smile once more.
I’m crying for him,
I’m crying for me,
I can’t stand to lose him...
Not now, please!
Calling on angels...
Gently rock him to sleep,
Give him these moments,
Give us back that peace,
Ease his pain keep an eye on him.
But do let him live....
Atleast for a while.
Plz God just keep an eye on him...

The Moment

In the moment that I saw your face,
Somehow my heart just knew;
That I would spend a lifetime,
Filled with loving you.
In the moment that you touched me,
The smile on your face;
The spark of your eyes.
My heart had no place to hide.

In the moment that I know you,
Felt your heart beat `neath my hand;
The look I saw there in your eyes,
Spoke a language I understand.
The moment that you held me,
Is somehow frozen there in time;
A place of sweet contentment,
Engraved in this heart of mine.

In that moment when I looked into your eyes.
Gently dancing with my soul;
I knew in that one moment,
That you had made me whole.
Each tiny sparkling moment,
Sweet memories of you;
Fill my heart with contentment,
For somehow my heart just knew.

Tum Kaisi Mohabbat Karte Ho??

Kuch khaab saja ke aankhon se palko se moti chunti
hoon
Koi lamha agar choo jaye tu mein phero usse hi soochti
hoon..

Tum jahaan ruk jate ho, jis cheez ko haath lgate ho..
Mein wahin pe rahe jatin hoon, us cheez ko dekha kartin
hoon.

Tum jis raste pe chalte ho,mein us raste pe rukti hoon..
Tum jin cheezon ko dekhte ho,un ke khawab sawarne
lagtin hoon.

Kuch wade kiye the tumne,kuch wade kiye the meine..
Tum jin ko bhool bhi gaye, un pe mein ab bhi yakeen
karti hoon.

Mein aisi mohabbat karti hoon tum kaisi mohabbat karte
ho..

Our Luv Will Carry On!!!!!!!!!!!

Time is of the essence

Whenever you are near

Hearts are joined in happiness

With love we feel sincere

Dancing on an ocean

Or floating in the air

Experience we treasure

In our endless love affair

You are always with me

Within your heart I stay

Vowed to love each other

We capture every day

So stay with me my darling

Until the sun is gone

Within the dawn a certainty

Our love will carry on.

Love we have lost!!!

I'll fly with an Angel,life's love seems so near,
I'll share with him my feelings from my
Heart, it comes so clear.
As we walk together, hand in hand to the end,
He tells me the Love I have,means more then just a friend.
We seem to talk forever, as time goes by so slow,
We share with Loving Feelings, love just seems to flow.
We talk about our loss and Heart breaks it has cost, Many sharing memories and Love we have lost.
He put his wings around me, as tears do seem to flow, He tells me that he loves me, he'll never let me go.
As our Love moved forward, we seem to part our ways, Our Love will fly with Angels and memories of those days will always remain...

The look in your eyes...

As I gazed into your deep dark eyes
I was saddened by the simple fact
That I wont see you tomorrow...
And I might never see you ever again...
As I looked at your bright face
And you looked deep into my eyes
We both felt a mutual feeling
I know what it was... Did you?
We should have never parted and we
Wanted to stay together but we couldn`t
So you had to go your way leaving me helpless...
I`m not sure if it was fate or just the end
I look back at all the fun we had
And wish it wouldn`t have ended....
Then I look out from my window I wish to the stars
That someday you will enter my life
Once again...
So when I remember you and gazing in your eyes
I just wont regret..never..
I`m so glad we shared those moments..